This blog is anonymous.
There are reasons for this.
One being that it is a subjective experience that is really not worth arguing over. I will always say, as truthfully as I can manage, what I have experienced in the UK theatre, entertainment, film and television industry. But I am aware that I am not trying for the whole truth but rather, a truth. It’s my truth and not necessarily – yours.
Secondly, I think deeply about the industry because I have a passion for it. But that passion swings between exasperation and joy; between love and hate; between frustration and sadness; between gratitude and revulsion. I do not wish to argue with anyone about these mood swings and I fear, attaching my name to this blog, would open that door to argument. I am not writing this to provoke argument. I am trying to come to terms with a very very difficult industry for people to survive in. And I am going to try to understand what makes it so difficult by examining my experiences.
Thirdly, thanks to Covid-19 and a host of other reasons you will soon find out about, I am not sure where I stand with the industry. This year, 2020, and indeed 2019, has taken certainties and thrown them on the pyre. This is a good thing – mostly. There is a need here for self protection because I don’t know who I am anymore. Am I an actor? Still? Well, instinctively, as I wrote that, my brain shouted: yes! But theatres are still shut and most until 2021. An entire year. If I want to return to being an actor I need to be careful who I piss off so yeah – this is me saving my own arse. Because that’s how the industry is – a petty brutal taskmaster of fragile egos (and I include my masochistic self in that definition) that doesn’t give a second glance at who it destroys and for what reasons.